Surprisingly that title is from a Jesse McCartney song.
Don't judge me.
I wrote a motherfucking poem, FINALLY. :]
Fuck my wasted past,
all the days went too fast.
And I'm sure that I couldn't see it then,
but I wonder when,
when I lost myself?
I don't remember putting all those things on the shelf.
I don't remember where my missing pieces fell to,
I don't know why I was ever with, wait, who?
I could block it out but then I won't have learned a thing.
I won't have learned to spread my wings.
And I wish that I could rewind,
and take more time.
I wish I could go back and take the advice,
I wish I wouldn't have done it twice.
I wish that I was who I am now, then,
and I want to know why, when?
Why did I ever even cry?
Why did I lie?
I lied to myself,
and ignored everyone else.
Why did I let all the bullshit get inside my head?
Why did I lay for hours in bed?
It's all over now,
should I have done it sooner, how?
I want to throw it all into the fucking wind,
and never ever look back, ever again.
I want to call it all just months of bullshit,
I want to say that this is finally it.
I want to be better, more, okay.
I know that I'll find the real thing one day.
But for now I'm just gonna wait,
I'm gonna let myself hate.
I hate him, I hate her, I hate the things.
I hate the necklaces, the hat, the rings.
I hate the hate I feel every day.
I hate that I haven't found another way.
Another way to be, cope, deal,
another way to feel.
Someday I'll know what it's really supposed to be.
Someday, I'll see.
I trust karma will serve them right,
I trust myself to be okay in the morning, every night.
I wake up, and I don't give a shit
Then I see something that causes a fit.
I breathe, I sigh, I reminisce.
I hate, I snap, I bitch.
I'm gonna be better, more, one day.
I'm getting there, I'm on my way.
Ohhh I feel like I just let out a huge sigh after holding my breath for months. I feel like myself! I wrote a poem! And it fucking rhymes! And I feel like I can do anything right now, because I can. :]
16 November 2008
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![My one, true love. :]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_mNn9ZgOHIZ8/SSTqpShe6II/AAAAAAAAAFU/vRVAbIzLDPg/S1600-R/pookie+thumb.jpg)
Ha . found it .
ReplyDeleteI can't be reading this if the music is gonna be whack like this. I opened MY own blog just to listen to MY playlist .
but anyways ..
ironically I'm listening to 'L is Gone,' but hooray for your great success, don't be trying to outwrite me .
The music was awesome, except for Solange!
ReplyDelete"I hate him, I hate her, I hate the things.
I hate the necklaces, the hat, the rings."
I don't know why, but that was my favorite part.
I love me some Bonnie-poem !
ReplyDeleteSrsly though, I liked it .
kill it .
ReplyDeleteany outsider can look and see if someone has good or bad karma, it isn't wishful .
that's the beauty of karma .