I Stopped Trying To Write the Things I Liked And I Started Goin` Back to Where I'd Been Before

She said I don't blame you I'd do the same,
opportunity knock knock knocks, open the door...

Gomez=Love.

I've decided on a sort of New Year's resolution, life-choice type thing.
I need to stop looking so hard into the future. I've realized that it's okay to have goals, but I have expectations for my future, and there's a good chance I'll be disappointed. Nothing ever goes exactly how you plan. Everything cannot be controlled. I need to start letting more things happen for themselves. I push, both knowingly and unknowingly, for the things that I want. All I really need to do is know what I want, because being myself, and knowing myself, I'll get what I want by some means. I have to sit back, and just let the future come to me. I still have the goals of becoming a great nurse, and becoming a great mom, and having a fulfilling life. But I realize that's enough. Having those goals will allow me to make all the right choices while still leaving the future to fall into place as it should.
So no more overthinking things, no more pushing too hard. No more looking too hard and too far into the future. I'm 18. You're only 18 once. I gotta live it up! I have to love everyone in my life and treat them well now, because some of them won't be there forever. I have to let the love I have with my boy just go as it wills. I can't push or pull. It's new and fragile and I want it to grow but I can't sit around poking and prodding it into what I think it should be. That goes for many things in my life. I think I'll be a lot happier and fuller because of all this. :)