You Can Close Your Eyes and Never Be Alone

Thinking about you, I feel the taste of the sea
In the sand grains, I am rolling

Bebel Gilberto - Close Your Eyes

I kind of don't wanna blog about this guy. Because it'll be the second time, and I'll start feeling like a creep writing about him when he has no clue that I really like him. It's weird, and rare, but he sort of calms me. I listen to him, I let someone else talk for a change. It's surprising, and I feel like he's good, but I don't know if he sees me as anything more but a friend. And me putting myself out there isn't easy anymore. Not with someone I feel myself investing in. I almost want to pull back, because at this point I don't want a relationship, but I still want him. I want him sooo bad. When I see him, I feel myself smiling in the most genuine way when he smiles, and when he says something funny. When I laugh it is full and sincere. It scares me how raw I let my smiles and laughs get around him. And I've been thinking about what it'd be like to kiss those full, soft-looking lips. It's terrible how my thoughts wander, but I crave a kiss from him, just to taste, just to see what it feels like.
I bet he'd find this odd and possibly creepy, but I figure he won't ever read it. And if he does, hopefully he'll know I feel this way before he reads it. I'd like to make it more obvious, but I'm holding back for a sign from him, I think. But I'm probably just holding back...


Since the day I left, from the start
I can feel megabytes of memories in my heart
Wish I disappear and wake up in some other place
Where there's no pain or fear, it's simple like 'Hello'