And Watch How You Treat Every Living Soul

Feeling hatred is really hard for me, and I think that I felt it yesterday. I don't know what that means for me. Maybe I need to meditate more, or study my principles more. I feel like I need to be better than I am. I feel like all the bullshit in my life, and that has occurred recently is a test to me being the best person I can be, someone who really tries hard to live by Buddhist principles and be good and loving and not hateful. I've been pushed to a limit and it hurts me to feel such ugly things, and think and say such ugly things. I just want to be better. I want to feel whole again, I want to love again. I want to forget. I want to push all the ugliness out of my life and keep nothing but all the beauty and promise around me. I hope that I can do that. And I hope that next time some bullshit comes my way, I can take it, feel no hatred, and cast it off quickly. I am beyond this. I am above this. I am better than this.